We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
