Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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