what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
