Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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