i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
