i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize