So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
