hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
