You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
