STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it's like heaven, but drunker
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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