their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
