Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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