My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He kissed a someone with a penis
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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