I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The best revenge is premature balding
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
