So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize