Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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