The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
