There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
