she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize