It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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