evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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