I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
...so i touched it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
