Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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