She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
