Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
