Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
