a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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