this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sober January is a disaster.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize