new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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