you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
