hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
