I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize