Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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