Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
