She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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