sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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