Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
