I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
