i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
