i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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