i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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