Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
