Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
