Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
