I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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