you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
