so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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