Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
