i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
