It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
