This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
