I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
