it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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