Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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