I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
