i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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