you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
should my penis look like a turkey
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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