What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
