I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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