I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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