I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm at about main and main street
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
