I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize