discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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