ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
