Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
