This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
